Resistance will put your growth on hold. And when I say “growth”, I mean the whole point of your life and everything you dream about. It means growing your self-esteem and confidence, realizing the happiness you’ve always searched for. It also includes shattering your social anxiety into pieces.
Everything that happens is an invitation to growth. Everything. If you resist it, you’re putting the growth on hold. Saying no to things is great. But if an unwanted situation is a fact and you have to deal with it, resistance will only feed the shittyness.
Everybody can be in pain. When we resist and complain we start to suffer. The more we resist the more we suffer.
Look at pain as the seed, suffering as the plant and resistance as the water.
Sometimes we need a break, and it’ll feel right and fair to say, “No – Leave me alone for a bit”, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I salute it.
After all, the point of life is to experience the whole journey. If you feel the need to sit down for a while, that might be what you need.
I’ve made a video about growth on my extra channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98OgJ1OwGaY
Teaching someone to let go is difficult. If you are an experienced meditator you’ll have a better idea of “how” to let go. I use quotation marks on “how” because it’s not really something you do. You can only realize that it’s not worth holding on anymore, and just be aware of the fact that you’re holding on. Little by little it’ll drop. It’s almost like a third party intelligence is doing it for you. There’s no button in the brain you can click to instantly drop your attachments. But as you get more experienced with letting go, this intelligence will develop and you’ll have an easier time letting go.
The big fat reason why we refuse to let go is that we fear that we’re gonna lose something. Letting go of the importance of your job doesn’t mean losing your job. If your job stresses you, dropping the importance of your job will just result in losing your fears and attachments about it. That’s a good thing. When you’re less afraid you will reach more flow and you will do a better job.
Dropping the importance of your job may result in losing motivation to work. That’s because your motivation was originated in fear. Now that you’re not afraid anymore, all motivation may be gone. But that’s a good thing. If you ignored this truth, and kept working out of your ego, the problem underneath would be untreated, and it would keep you from reaching the happiness and health you were meant to enjoy. At this point it’s worth considering whether you should find something else. It’s better to find out now than after 30 years of misery and declining health. And if there’s no fear there you will also have the confidence you need to work the situation out.
You don’t have to let go of all the things you value. When is it time to let go? When you suffer. We all suffer from time to time and it’s up to us how much we want to take before we make changes. It’s up to you how much suffering you want to take before you drop the microphone. Life is saying, “how many lessons do you need?” The cycle of suffering will happen over and over again until we listen.
Sometimes it may seem that it’s dangerous to let go. If you’re hanging down from a cliff, sure, that’s physically dangerous. But letting go of a thought or belief that screams “THIS IS IMPORTANT!” will not harm you physically. It might feel like a broken heart. But a broken heart is a growing heart if not too interrupted by the mind. And you won’t lose the thing itself. You will only lose the fear and your attachment to it. Then you consider whether you need it. You’re free to keep it.
All our suffering is a result of holding onto paradigms that don’t serve us anymore.
We think we HAVE to complain, HAVE to worry, be angry and RESIST the situation, because then it’ll change! We think we HAVE to think it’s IMPORTANT and BAD! Haha.
It’s the easiest and laziest thing to do. We CAN’T JUST LET THAT GO!
It’s a serious addiction humans have and it makes us dramatic. It’s what makes the whole world dramatic.
The angrier we are at the institutions or our neighbor, the less we are capable of persuading them. Their egos will resist back.
Some people persuade and get what they want by using fear. But it’s short lived, and people will resent them, gossip them and it’ll eventually backfire.
When you get anxious and nervous, see what happens when you don’t resist. When I say “don’t resist” I don’t mean ignoring it, but meeting and being present with the feeling. Don’t go to the mind at first. The mind will most likely create more judgment and drama about it. Drama is addicting. Drama shows are popular. Dramatic headlines get clicks. We are easily stimulated by drama. No wonder a lot of people are unhappy.
Ops: Focusing on not resisting can create more resistance, so the main goal of this article is laying down WHY resistance doesn’t work. You can’t do non-resistance. Your job is to be present with emotions and thoughts that come up, whenever life triggers you.
You might get frustrated when you’re trying to not resist and it just resists more. This is a skill that will develop. Just understand that resistance won’t help. See if this is true. Go ahead and resist!
So what can you really do? Meditate.
Meditation will help you become more present (and non-resistant).