The fear of being judged for sweating, shaking or stuttering is just like any other fear. It won’t help to resist it. You may manage to hide these cues up to a certain point.
But what do you do when it goes out of hand and you know for sure that everyone can see that you’re nervous? The truth is, there’s not much you can do.
This is a big test.
One of my biggest fears is to break down and cry in front of people. But I have seen people break down and cry in front of me, and it hasn’t been that bad. I didn’t judge them – it was quite the opposite – I had more love for them. And life goes on as usual. No big deal.
Another reminder… exposure to all situations you fear is not a necessity.
As your confidence, self-esteem and self-respect increase, all your fears will shrink in the same speed. You don’t need to be exposed to all the situations you fear.
Moreover, we think people are judging us more than they are. So we shrink and act polite and careful – making sure that we’re not taking full space.
When you tell a joke and the other person isn’t laughing, it doesn’t mean they’re offended. When you hear a joke, do you always laugh? And if you don’t laugh, does it mean you were offended? Have you heard jokes and even though you didn’t laugh you still thought it was funny? When I’m watching the shows of my favorite comedians I might just laugh out loud a couple of times. And they spend years putting together their shows.
The same is true with opinions. Even though they disagree with your opinion it doesn’t mean they think YOU are bad, or stupid. When you disagree with someone, do you think THEY are bad or stupid people? How often does this happen? Probably not that often. And if it happens often, no wonder you believe they think you’re stupid.
Pay attention to how you are judging people. That gives a much better idea on how much you are actually judged by other person. It’s not as much as you think.
Sometimes we are being judged. Again, the fear of judgement is just like any other fear. It has to be dealt with, either through exposure in your mind or in the real world. I’ve been silly in public thousands of times – and even though I’m aware that I’m probably being judged, the feeling of freedom runs over those voices like a hurricane. The voice, “what if they think I’m stupid”, stands no chance against releasing your true self. This has to be experienced. You have to see it for yourself.